Expectations

I think my problems all started with ridiculous expectations. I grew up with these amazingly nurturing parents. Not spoiled I wouldn't say, because I have seen spoiled and I was definitely not that. We never had much or went any where special. I just always knew I was loved; no more than that even, cherished, celebrated.

So when I married, I wanted my man to cherish and celebrate me! Who doesn't want that? But I know what that looks and feels like. So many don't. They dream about it, and wish for what it might be like. But I have actually expererienced it.

When my marriage fell short of my expectations I became angry, and hurt. Deeply hurt. And I began to wonder what I had done wrong. How could this person whom I adore, and loved to be with me and talk to me, and tell me about every minute of his day while we were dating, suddenly seem as though he couln't wait to leave the house? And how did I end up married to someone who couldn't wait to leave me alone? Why didn't he want to cherish and celebrate me?

My children became, as happens so often for new mothers, my everything. At the expense of my husband. I no longer cherished him either, which he most certainly noticed. Because surprise! He had expectations too. Which I didn't meet, of course. Because his were as ridiculous as mine. He expected me to treat him like a man, a leader, and lover, and warrior and rescuer. Instead, he got lists and instructions on how to call me when he needed help knowing what time it was so the children could be put to bed at the hour I deemed right.

God's design is always best, I have learned. And he says, men, love your wives, women respect your husbands. We expect so much, and give so little. So backwards. And we wonder why our relationships are falling apart.