I went to bed angry last night. I had made some mistakes at work. Extremely minor details that I had overlooked, but being somewhat of a perfectionist, it irked me. Partly because this has been happening a lot. But mostly because my co-worker is the type of person who gets some kind of subtle sick pleasure out of pointing out other people's errors.

"Will it matter that you spelled this person's name wrong on this form?"

What kind of loaded question is that? Just say, please fix this... or send it knowing full well that it really wont matter. @$#$##@!!!

So I lay in bed, irked by the daily jabs I receive from this person. I thought we were friends until a few weeks ago, and our relationship has really deteriorated since then.

People who are legalistic and judgemental just rub me like sandpaper. What makes me the angriest about this is that some people feel that way about me. That I look down on others if they don't measure up to my standard. I just don't feel that way about anyone! There are certain people I would never let borrow my car, or watch my kids, you know, but I just don't have judgement for the average person inside or outside my life. Maybe I just can't see it, and if so that breaks my heart.

I am guarded with people because of my own insecurities. Mostly because of the criticism I have received from those I thought regarded me as friend. That is maybe misjudged as legalism?

For this reason, I wish I could let go of the feeling that this person only wants to judge me, and not be my friend. She probably can't see her own legalism. She probably thinks that she accepts me just as I am as well.

Why can't I do it?